So, I’ve been doing some thinking over this holiday about where I want to be in the future, and what I want my career to look like. I look at the political climate, the rampant denial of empirical evidence and I worry about my future as, not only someone who believes in science, but as a woman in these male dominated fields. I worry about little girls who want to be scientists, but are told that it’s for boys. I worry about the smart girl in class who is told by her friends that she won’t ever get a boyfriend if she is interested in math. I worry about the little boy who likes to dance, or likes to put on puppet shows. I worry about all children who might be afraid to express themselves because of what others may think of them. I hope that any of my readers who have children, encourage them to follow facts to wherever they end. Encourage them to be artists, musicians, scientists, astronauts, journalists—just encourage them to be true to themselves, no matter what oppositions they may face.
I worry about the damage the incoming administration is poised to impact education, science, and the environment. We live in a world where the vocal minority seems to be so wrapped up in their bubbles that facts don’t matter. Reality is skewed for them. We have an entire legislative branch that now is going to lean a single direction. The oppositions don’t exist. Checks and balances won’t exist. I can hope that my fears won’t come to fruition, but I am more realistic about the situation as a whole.
So, this new year, 2017, I wish for peace, understanding, and the ability to stand up for the little guy when he/she is being threatened or told that they are to conform or be punished. Teach your kids to be curious, to read banned books, to question the status quo. This is the only way that a society can progress. Do not stifle someone else’s light just because it shines a little differently than yours.
It’s the end of the semester—one week until finals. I’ve been SO busy, and I’m sorry that I’ve been neglecting everyone. I haven’t had time to even sleep, let alone make anything cool. I really do apologize. I plan on creating a new master list for classes as well as a few other things, in order to create other supplements that go with the new 2017 planners I’ve created. I’ll keep everyone in the loop once school is out. I’ll have 3 weeks of insane productivity when it comes to planner stuff, then back to school. I will try to be more steady with updates on my blog. Thanks for bearing with me! In the mean time, here’s a picture of my girls!
Fall is in the air, apples are in season. Everything pumpkin is out on shelves and in coffee shops. This means that it is time to look to the Spring semester of school and start creating the schedule. With this in mind, I had a meeting with my Math advisor yesterday. I understand that I need top grades, but I’m not lower than a B+ in my Calculus class. I’m in the process of trying to bring the grade up. However, he made it seem that if I don’t have an A in that class, I’m not good enough. I get the fact that Calculus I is a foundation course. However, I’m not slacking off. I’m getting As on all of my quizzes and homework. I’m just a few points a way from an A-, so I feel he’s jumping to the conclusion that I’m not really up for the work. He’s trying to steer my to a single major and I’m not wanting to be a single major. I want to double major. He also seemed shocked that all of my general education credits are done now. I’m only working on my language credits. Anyway, he set me up with some choices, take another computer programming class or take linear algebra. I’d like to take the algebra course, but it runs at the same time my Calculus class. I can’t change my Calculus class because my physics classes will run when the other Calculus class will be running. I wouldn’t have this problem at a larger university, but since I am trying not to go into massive debt, the satellite school is how I plan to get my degrees. So, computer programming 201 it is. I don’t hate programming, I just wish it was more doing, and less why.
So, in light of my meeting with my advisor, I am going to have to buckle down even more so than I am now, in order to achieve my desired grades by the end of the semester. I need to do well on two exams I have next week. The bright side is that fall break occurs after my last class on Thursday and I don’t go back until the following Wednesday. So, I will try to get something cool up here. I feel like I’ve been neglecting everyone. So keep your eyes peeled next Friday!
Ok, it takes me a minute to figure out how classes run and what I need to do exactly for them. Time management isn’t always intuitive. I have the first two weeks under my belt, and I’m still trying to iron out a few things. One being, WHEN DO I HAVE TIME TO DO OTHER THINGS BESIDES STUDY!? I promise I am not neglecting you. This semester I am taking really hard classes. Even though things over lap in them, it doesn’t mean that I have less homework. Really my Physics lecture and Physics lab are two separate classes that they tie in as one class (separate homework, separate exams, etc.). I promise I am working on something cool to show you soon. Talk to you later!
I have been working hard on new things and I promise I will get some uploaded tonight when I hit a wifi spot! I won’t have Internet until Saturday evening….
Having some issues with my interwebs connection. I don’t know if I’ll be able to post on Wednesday or not. Breaking up with my phone company because of incompetence and I am making a deal with the Devil (Comcast) to get cable internet. So, it should have been plug and play, but they have to flick a switch on a telephone pole 25 feet away from my house. For this, they are charging me an ass load. But I am up sh*t creek without a paddle without the connection. They seem to not be able to manage this small thing for about two weeks. So, I may be sporadically posting from now until then. Sorry for the blackout…
This week is the final week of my summer classes. So, as usual, I am swamped with work.
However, I thought that I’d like to give a sneak peek at what I am currently working on for the new year. As you know I create my own planner to suit my needs. I am in the process of creating a new one for the new year. I tend to take a long time to create things because I want them to be perfect. If you have any suggestions as to what you would like to see in a planner, please feel free to drop me a line or a comment. I currently have a few separate inserts beyond my planner proper which include weekly meal planning, monthly
expense/deposit tracker, class schedule inserts, and a blog planning supplement for all my fellow bloggers. I was also planning on adding a supplement for project planning. I will probably post my planner in December in order for everyone to have time to print it out and get it together. So, anyway, sorry about my short post. I promise I will be back with more next week!
In the interest of not drawing negativity to my blog, I decided that I’d not ever post anything political or controversial. However, recent events have moved me to speak. I will catch a lot of flak for what I am about to say. I am tired of the senseless violence in this country. I am tired of a few bad apples making bad names for everyone else. A man in Minnesota just got shot in front of his girlfriend and a child because he had a concealed weapon and a permit to carry it. This only happened because he was a man of color and he had a busted tail light met with an officer who wasn’t trained properly. In the age of social media and 24-hour media coverage on everything something like this can affect all of us. The media outlets are grabbing onto the fact that Philando Castile had been carrying a gun and that he was a man of color. He was licensed legally. He told the officers. He got shot anyway. After these kinds of shootings, violence erupts, and people on both sides of the issue rush to blame the other.
The systemic oppression is obvious to anyone who cares to open their eyes to the situation. This isn’t me being a bleeding heart liberal. This is me saying that the system needs fixed. White privilege is a thing. It is real. Don’t lie to yourselves and say it isn’t. Our country was founded by white men. Our society is an “I” society. We think that if we work hard enough and put our minds to it, we can achieve anything. There was a reason why in the ‘90s that the words “it takes a village” caused so much controversy. It isn’t just an individual thing. It is a societal thing. Our society needs to learn to work together to achieve common good for all—not just a few. The people in power wish to stay in power, and they will do anything to achieve that. I am not being tin-foil hat paranoid. I am being honest. The government preys on our fears to their advantage. A mass of people is easier to control than an individual.
We need to stand up and say enough is enough. All of us: White, Black, Asian, Indian, Native American, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jew. It doesn’t matter what color your skin is. It doesn’t matter what your religion is. We as a collective need to remember that people are people. Fear is the enemy. Reach out to your neighbor; donate your time in a mentor program. The teachings in ALL of the religions is overall peace. To pick and choose from any religion to condemn someone else is tantamount to heresy in my book. Do not be afraid because someone of color happens to be walking by when you are in your car. Don’t be afraid because some white cop pulls you over. A few bad apples make a bad name for everyone—remember that. Treat each other with kindness and respect. Do not judge someone because they are different from yourself. Remember that everyone has a fundamental need to feel safe. In other words, don’t be an asshole.
If you pray, pray for the families who experience violence on a daily basis. Pray for the family of Philando Castile. Above all, pray for peace.
I have anxiety. It isn’t the kind of anxiety where I get panic attacks, or I freeze because I have so much to do. It is a functional anxiety. I have problems making a decision without the what-ifs creeping into my mind for days after. I have problems when I feel like I don’t know what my function or place is in any given activity or event. Some might call me a type A personality—an overachiever. Except, in my mind, I am not trying to be an overachiever—I am trying to get my mind to calm down. I get anxious and panicky when I have a lot of free time. The free time allows my mind to stew on things—and not in a good way. I am not problem solving, I am over-analyzing what I have said 3 months ago and wondering if it was really important for me to have said that. The constant business keeps my mind from ruminating on what is really in the scheme of things considered to be minutia. If I have a physical problem outside of myself to deal with, it helps me not to be so anxious. I wish knitting would do it for me but unfortunately, it just keeps my hands busy and not my mind. One can only binge so much on Netflix and sleep so many hours before these thoughts and the anxiety creep into that as well. It is my anxiety that fuels my depression. I have learned that if I manage the quiet anxiety by staying busy, I can manage my depression and OCD. So the marking of the end of a semester creates a mild panic in my psyche. The second summer session starts next week, and I only have one online class. So, essentially, I have 7 weeks of unfettered time between now and the start of my fall semester. These kind of things my husband isn’t able to understand. He doesn’t understand why I have been obsessively checking for a new syllabus for my photography class that is starting next week. He can’t understand why I randomly decide to mow the lawn even though my allergies want to kill me. Because of all of this, I have decided that planning the next seven weeks would be a good thing. Some of my friends think I’m weird that I have to have things planned out but it gives me more structure than I would have otherwise. There are things I want to do, so this is a time to do it. I plan on learning some C++ so I don’t feel stupid in my intro class. I plan on learning some German to help me along in my German class. I also plan on brushing up on my Calculus and Physics because I want to get good grades in those classes. I know it sounds stupid, but I am going to treat these next seven weeks as though I am in class. I will still have plenty of time to binge on Netflix, play D&D, and play video games. My time will just be more structured to keep me from ruminating on what I said in Mrs. Cocanower’s freshman English class because she wasn’t explaining that Romeo and Juliet right because she was afraid of sex. For the record, I am not a pushover- I am probably the most contrary person anyone could meet. I just don’t do well with vast amounts of free time.
Anxiety isn’t something to be ashamed of. Mental illness isn’t something to be mocked or laughed at. It is real, and can be extremely debilitating. So, if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, etc. don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor- or if pharma isn’t something you want, get yourself a therapist. Sometimes you can find really cool ones that are worth the effort it takes to open up to them.
It’s the end of the first summer session, and right now I have papers up to my eyeballs. I will be done next week and will be back to posting!